the ugly duckling story

assalamualaikum.

2010 taught me a lot of things. lets review 'em

1. aku stil tak bejaye manage duet gaji dgn baek. ye aku ade duet simpanan asb n tabung aji. tp asal pg kl je kuarkan duet utk shopping. vungux!

face this. bulan 12 ni aku da pegi singapore. kl trip 2 kali. n kelantan trip. bejoli naek atv je pakai duet gak. spent almost 3 k. gaji baru brape je bai? las las kua duet simpanan. aaaaa! mane taknye. asal nampak je rembat. nampak je rembat, wattakuan!! seryes takleh kontrol nafsu shopping. org kate gaji besar. no. gaji aku tak besar. selera aku besar. hahaha

so aku telah memotong lagi gaji untuk tambahkan lagi duet simpanan start from gaji bulan ni! amek ko! ikat perut la aku!


2.my career is getting smooth. my bos recognize my talent. i love my job. but sometimes when i dont get wat i want. i'll tend to mengamok. menanges. super hate that. sede gak sbb kene belaja mende yg tak paham. welding la. ASME code la. Petronas spec la. API la. AWS la. macam macam code. tapi papepon kne blaja.

recipe menjadi sorang engineer oil n gas yg bejaye. code. communication. firm. english. english. aaaand english! seryes tak tipu.

this year projek kurang masuk. economy was quite bad. nevertheless project pumps in banyak next year. SOGT. KPOC. TAPIS. a few to names. yg tu kire mega n im in the porject also. banyaaaak kne blaja neh. sobs


3. year '10 teaches me a lot on friendship. FRIENDSHIP. yah with capital. i love them loads. most of them are starting their career. good luck to them all. with their absence, a hole in the heart they've left me with. seryes. i am all by myself. i easily get bored. i easily get angry. my life is just not the same anymore. sobs. sometimes i do think to move somewhere else. u know...be independent. i havent get out from the house except for my matriculation time. but i am juz comfortable enough living here in kuantan. takpe takpe. bosan bosan aku pg melawat korang eh. get ready je laaaa! hahahaha


4. dont ever fall for your bestfriend. even a slightest remote feeling. dont! just dont! things wont ever be the same. i am now in a middle of a situation where everything are awefully dumbstruck, perplexed and incredulous. sometimes i think i cant hold it anymore. but wat else can i do? crying? hell no. yang ade skang cume pride. tu satuuu je yg tinggal. putting aside my pride is equally same for me to go naked around. i'd rather get a head shot. im just extremely tired of all this drama. i don wanna end up being an angry woman. i wanna know wat the hell is going on between us. but i cant. im juz too disappointed. i think wats best for now is juz too hold my speech. sobs.


5. i've been a pain in the ass for my parents. hah! seriously. they were lunatic as hell. marah gile towards me. haha! they treated me as if im a baby. nak wat cmne beb? susaaaah! kne solex beb! da tua bangke kot! haihhhhhhhhhhhhhh


well thats it. later alligator. muax!~

tadi pg bank dgn ayah. sign some sort of agreement.

while waiting for the accountant to do all the documentation.

we were chit chatting for a while just to kill time.

our topics basically revolves around world headlines, national headlines, political status, book reviews, sports and yada yada yada..

tapi kan, tibe tibe he changed the topic:


ayah: so hows ur relationship status?

ijah: ayah. please dont ask.


silent environment...............................................................

stiff movement.....................................................................

awkward moment................................................................


ayah: semalam balik pukul brape? pukul 2?

ijah: tak. balik awal. pukul 1.

ayah: korok mu!



ok he's behaving normal again. thank god. pfft!

i love u dearly ayah!

pi.es: bapak aku comel!

serious shit super duper fucked up! i hate myself rite now! i am 24. n every step of my behavior doesnt resemble my age. its like im juz 14 years old. 4 to be worse. i wont grow. i am not matured. im still cursing! im still hot tempered. im still ill mannered. im still a rude person. i say mean things to my loved ones. i hurt them unintentionally. i dont think i can change me! its hard!! like super duper hard!!! damn it! i feel like cursing right now! FUCK! hah amek kau kan dah mencarut!


even cursing wont get this feeling off my chest!

I have everything a modern woman is supposed to dream of having - a car, a home, a yet-to-be-successful career, tonnes of awesome friends and A FAMILY - yet like so many others, I found myself lost, confused, and searching for what I really wanted in life. Life isn't perfect though. I have bills and debts to pay. A not-so-luminous-anymore skin condition. And a quest for self-discovery.


I've been single and dateless for almost a year. Not that it doesnt bugging me. It does. Like all the time! People say how perfectionist I am. Hear me now. Nope! I dont need someone perfect. All I ever need is someone doing nothing and yet keeps me falling. Who make his move first. Who can endure all the pain to be with me. WHO HAS MORE BALLS THAN I DO. Sound perfectionist? Naah! I hope that one day, If ever, I will meet him and know that he is the one. I just know.


I really wanted to discover the inner peace and balance of true love in the heart. Therefore, I'm stepping out of my comfort zone, risking everything to change my life, embarking on a journey to find my own self. For a start, I am restructuring my financial plan. I'd set my brain not to buy the unimportant thing. Its hard! I know. Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.


I am trying my luck to be a tuition teacher. Its for the orphanage. Doing it for free. Its still in an early talk. But I hope I can give the world a better place for them. It started out from following my mother to her charity event. N it strucked upon my head, who really cares for them? Their needs? Their education? Their life? It bits me in the heart, stings me in the eye. I've gotta do something. Give something.


Travelling round the world has always been my dream. If there is a job named fully paid salary traveller. I'd go for it! Unluckily, it's only in my dream. Money is everything. Better save up some money! Since this year I've been to genting. Then nextyear i'll be going for Sabah. Im diving yaww! My wishlist will come true. Really hope that I could make it for the plan. Its a all-girls-no-men-allowed vacation. Play hard! Pray hard! I've been longing to go to some place where the grass is always greener. Where else? Paddy field laaaa! Please someone take me there!


To all, I sincerely wanted to express my love ; my friends, my family! I LOVE YOU!

Eat. Pray. Love


lotsa love. xoxo


-pujah-

Reason for invading Afghanistan:

“The most important thing is for us to find Osama bin Laden. It is our number one priority and we will not rest until we find him.” — George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Sept. 13, 2001

And then..

“I don’t know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don’t care. It’s not that important. It’s not our priority.” — George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., March 13, 2002

So just 6 months after 9/11, the world’s most dangerous man is not important anymore. He does not just become unimportant.

70,000+ deaths.

Reason for invading Iraq:

“We found the weapons of mass destruction. We found biological laboratories … And we’ll find more weapons as time goes on. But for those who say we haven’t found the banned manufacturing devices or banned weapons, they’re wrong, we found them.” — George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 30, 2003

And then..

“Those weapons of mass destruction have got to be somewhere!” — George W. Bush, joking about his administration’s failure to find WMDs in Iraq as he narrated a comic slideshow during the Radio & TV Correspondents’ Association dinner, Washington, D.C., March 24, 2004

So that was one big fat lie then.

130,000+ deaths.

Two pointless wars based on absolute lies and over 200,000 people dead as a result.

Day 5 : Six things that you wish you had never done.


1. tidak membawa basikal dgn ganasnye waktu kecil..kalo tak tadek la parut kat kepala lutut

2. tidak ingkar untuk mencabut gigi sewaktu kecil kecil..kalo tak tadek la gigi berterabur macam skang ni

3. tidak mudah jatuh cinta monyet beruk babun dan sebagainya..kalo tak tadek la kene sumpahan cinta

4. tidak menjadi seorang yg terlampau ego, kuat merajuk, kuat memerintah dan sebagainya..kalo tak tadek la jadi seorang lady boss macam skang ni

5. tidak menjadi seorang yg terlampau kuat enjoy..kalo tak tadekla idop asek nak ronggeng jek

6. tidak menjadi seorang yg tadek ketenangan diri..kalo tak tadekla rase idop ni asek incomplete jek..


so...

THERE IS NOTHING IN THIS WORLD I WOULD NOT REGRET FOR..FOR EVERY ACTIONS TAKEN BY ME WERE MY OWN RESPONSIBILITY! I SHALL BEAR ALL THE CONSEQUENCES AND FACE IT AS THE WAY IT IS.


BYE

Day 4 : Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

1. knape duet asek tak cukop?

2. bile anak sedare i nak kua?

3. knape bonus sikit jek? duet raya pon kne cut off..lari bajet

4. dah tak sabar nk pakai baju raya..haha

5. knape esok kne keje lagi? aaaaaaaaaaa!!!

6. tak sabar nak balik raya bakar lemang, masak dodol, buat rendang, masak ketupat! eventhough i do not consume all those high colestrol food. ahahah

7. raya kali ni cam tak bes jek sebab tak de boipren. TAKPE! next year saya akan pastikan saya akan mempunyai FUTURE HUSBAND utk raya tahun depan! wahahaha!

bye

Day 2 : Nine things about yourself.


uno. baru je bagi duet raya kepada adik adik sepupu semalam. perasaan memberi duet raya sama seperti perasaan sudah bersedia untuk berkahwin. ho ho ho.


dos. mempunyai bilangan jerawat yang tidak termampu dibilang dek jari. mungkin hormon perempuan baru datang. waktu zaman remaja tadek plak jerawat tu nak datang. dah tua tua ni baru nak timbul. selain itu, aku juga baru mengerti ape itu kesakitan period cramp. sakit ya ampun! so betul lah kata mama, hormon perempuan ku baru nak aktif. cit!


tres. merasakan bahawa diri ini sudah dewasa. sudah hampir setahun bergelar pekerja. sudah hampir setahun membayar duet kereta sendiri. sudah hampir setahun memberi duet bulanan kepada ibu bapa. sudah hampir setahun belajar bertanggungjawab terhadap diri sendiri.


cuatro. jika anda bermain kutu dalam jumlah duet yang besar dan bilangan peserta kutu yang banyak, jangan jadi peserta yang pertama. singkirkan jauh jauh perangai anda yang gila nak shopping megasale raya di butik zara mng dan segala bagai. SINGKIRKAN! JIKA TIDAK ANDA AKAN MENYESAL! haru biru aku nak membayor duet kutu time turn org laen! uwaaaa!


cinco. mempunyai masalah split personality. pada satu masa boleh menjadi seorang mak tiri yang super garang super fierce! tapi pada satu masa pula boleh menjadi seorang yang kuat merengek dan kuat merajuk. i dont even get it with myself!


seis. seorang yang super ego. mempunyai masalah mahu menang dalam segala gala hal. kalau bergaduh pula sangat sukar utk mengaku silap dan meminta maaf.


tujuh. *dah taktau spanish dah* skang ni aku tak pose. hahahaha!


lapan. aku dah tadek idea nak tulis ape.


sembilan. oh sebelum mengakhiri coretan. saya ingin mengucapkan SELAMAT HARI RAYA MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN !!!

Day 1 : Ten things you want to say to ten different people.

1. lady gaga..u r a freak..i hate ALL OF YOUR VC..half naked women+sex manipulation=rubbish VC!! plus u r ugly..but your talent isnt!


2. muben: watched he's just not that into you..n i guess this time you r right! totally! semua wanita dan lelaki dipersilakan menonton cerita ini..it's about relationship..yg konon konon hati batu tu sile lah jugak tgk..sesuai utk para hati bunga dan hati batu..trust me! u will think of your very own relationship status once u watched the movie..it's like a love guru for me!


3. nenek n atok: nexwik pas keje ijah balik! first time nak bagi duet raya kat adik adik sepupu..nenek n atok pon dapat jugak tau! hek hek!


4. din beramboi! balik la cepat!!!


5. ria, zaireen n nad..bile nak shopping zleqha n girlish talk? shahirawati tamao join ke?


6. rashdan n hanif: kak ijah bagi duet raya nnt jgn byk complain..terima dgn redha jek! huh! byk cekadak kang aku pang sekor sekor


7. akira toriyama! tenkyu for your dragon ball comics...i lob u lah! ur comics inspires me in so many way!


8. badrul afrizal: sori sebab aku selalu lupe bawak henset pegi keje..haha!


9. along! ijah nak duet raya! i dont care! i want 10 ringget from you! plus i have been window shopping for baju baby n stroller for my anak sedare..mommy cant wait to see u!!


10. i am sorry for being such a sulker. selamat hari raya maaf zahir batin. u know who u r.



esok pulak day 2...tungguuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!

a quickie!!

waktu kecik kecik..aku dpt adik lelaki. sebab kan perangai aku mmg macam budak lelaki dari kecik. so aku rase blessed sbb ade geng aka pengikut. ade geng lawan pedang. geng maen bulldozer. geng maen bow n arrow *abes lipstick mama sbb kitorg conteng satu badan konon konon amek feel jadi red indian* geng cukur bulu kening separuh sbb testing gillette ayah. geng tgk wrestling n applikasi kan wrestling terhadap diri masing masing. geng kejar anak ayam n lari lintang pukang kne kejar ngn mak ayam..geng maen pingpong buatan sendiri..geng jahanamkan motor honda cup atok..geng maen mercun sampai nyorok dalam longkang pasal polis buat spot cek..geng panjat pokok smpai badan berbirat kne gigit kerengga..geng menggelepar nak mandi hujan pakai spender jek..geng susah mati kene pukol ngn mama n ayah pasal kes buang pemadam dalam longkang..geng bace komik siap jadi narrator *kitorg paham bahasa planet nameck..pokpurnga..pipiriktparo!!* geng cakap bahasa F sbb org laen dalam rumah sume tak paham..hanya aku n die je paham bahasa F ni..


sekarang....


adik aku dapat sambung study. UMP JUGAK! walaupon dekat. tapi die balik jarang jarang. kadang kadang duduk rumah pon bosan. sbb tadek geng nak ketawa ketawa. nak sedeh sedeh. rindu nak bebel bebel. rindu nak mengamok ngamok. rindu nak baling baju dari tingkat atas smpai tingkat bawah. rindu nak drive in mc d malam malam bute. rindu nak nyanyi lagu shaolin kung fu hey..ho ho yeah..rindu nak bahan suara katak demam die..rindu nak dgr die cakap ok ok ok ok ok kalo kne ugutan..rindu nak dengar die maki aku kalo amek sos kicap cicah cendawan lebeh lebeh..rindu nak dgr die maki masakan aku tak sedap..*aku masih kecik ati sbb mu tak makan mee bandung aku!*

boy...balik la rumah.....

I always do this. I always screw things up. I always make a big deal out of the smallest things. I don’t know why I get so upset over such insignificant matters. And honestly, if I look at it objectively, I can see how foolishly it is that I’m acting. It doesn’t matter, though. Because objectivity is not my reality. Far from it. What I feel is never objective and I don’t think it ever will be.

I’ve always been insecure and I’m used to it by now. Like, it doesn’t hurt me. Usually. But when that insecurity is directly tied to you, it hurts like hell. And I wish it didn’t. And it’s all my fault. I bring it upon myself and then I ruin things.

I’m sorry I get so upset.
I’m sorry I’m such a cow when I do.
I’m truly sorry, I’m not just saying that.

And I know that I should change, and I do try in my own way… But… I don’t think I’ll ever succeed. I don’t think I’ll ever be logical and strong. When it comes to you I’ll always be vulnerable and messed up. And honestly, I’m expecting you to give up on me very soon.

They always do.
They all give up on me.
And it’s all my fault.

I’m just not worth it all.

Kisah benar ini berlaku di US.


Ia tentang seorang wanita dari Malaysia yang bekerja di US. Dia memakai tudung dan memiliki akhlak yang
bagus.

Suatu malam perempuan ini dalam
perjalanan balik ke rumah dari tempat kerjanya. Kebetulan dia mengambil jalan singkat untuk pulang. Jalan
yang diambil pula agak tersorok dan
tidak banyak orang yang lalu lalang pada masa itu.

Disebabkan hari yang agak sudah lewat,
berjalan di jalan yang agak gelap sebegitu membuatkan dia agak gelisah dan rasa
takut. Lebih-lebih lagi dia berjalan
bersaorangan.

Tiba-tiba dia nampak ada seorang lelaki (kulit putih Amerika) bersandar di dinding di tepi lorong
itu. Dia sudah mula rasa takut dan tak
sedap hati. Apa yang dia boleh buat waktu tu adalah berdoa ke hadrat Allah memohon keselamatan atas dirinya. Dia baca
ayat Kursi dengan penuh pengharapan agar
Allah membantu dia disaat itu.

Masa dia melepasi tempat lelaki itu
bersandar, dia sempat menoleh dan dapat mengecam muka lelaki itu. Nasib
baik lelaki itu buat tidak endah dan
perempuan ini selamat sampai ke
rumahnya.

Keesokkan paginya, wanita ini terbaca dalam akhbar yang seorang perempuan telah dirogol oleh seorang lelaki
yang tidak dikenali dekat lorong yang
dia jalan semalam hanya 10 minit selepas dia melintasi lorong tersebut. Muslimah ini yakin benar lelaki kulit putih
yang dia lihat semalam adalah perogol
itu.

Atas rasa tanggungjawab dia terus ke balai polis dan buat aduan. Wanita ni dapat mengenalpasti suspek
melalui kawad cam dan selepas siasatan
dilakukan, polis dapat bukti bahawa lelaki tersebut adalah perogol yang dicari.

Tapi perempuan ini hairan juga kenapa lelaki tadi tak jadikan dia mangsa ketika dia melalui lorong tersebut
walhal dia keseorangan di masa tu,
tetapi lelaki tadi rogol perempuan yang lalu selepas dia. Wanita ini nak
tahu sangat sebabnya. Jadi dia minta
kebenaran polis untuk bercakap dengan perogol
tadi sebelum hukuman dijatuhkan (sebelum lelaki tadi di bawa ke
tempat lain).

Dia pun tanya perogol itu..

“Why don’t you do anything to me on that
night even though you know that I’m alone?”
(Kenapa awak tak buat apa-apa kat saya
malam tu walaupun awak tau saya seorang je masa
tu?)

Perogol tu jawab:

“No, you are not alone. That night I saw
two young man walking with you. One on your right side and the other one
was by your left side. If you were alone
of course you will be my victim.”
(Tak, awak bukan berseorangan. Malam tu
saya nampak ada 2 orang lelaki berjalan dengan
awak. Seorang sebelah kanan awak dan sorang lagi sebelah kiri awak.
Kalaulah awak sorang2 malam tu, sudah
pasti awak jadi mangsa saya..)

Wanita ni rasa amat terkejut bila dengar
penjelasan perogol tu. Dia bersyukur ke hadrat
Allah kerana memelihara dia malam itu, mungkin juga berkat ayat Kursi
yang dia baca malam itu.

p/s : MORAL CERITA INI???

Jika kita sebagai hambaNya menurut
segala perintah dan meninggalkan segala laranganNya, Dia pastinya akan sentiasa dekat dengan kita dan
memelihara kita. Wanita tadi
pertama-tamanya menutup aurat di US dan memang seorang yang menjaga
batas-batas yang ditetapkan Islam.
Mungkin dua orang lelaki yang menemani wanita itu adalah malaikat yang diutuskan Allah untuk menjaga
hambaNya yang sentiasa ingat akan
diriNya.

"...Barang siapa membaca ayat Kursi apabila berbaring di tempat tidurnya,Allah mewakilkan 2 orang Malaikat
memeliharanya hingga subuh. Barang siapa
yang membaca ayat al-Kursi ketika dalam kesempitan nescaya Allah berkenan memberi pertolongan kepadanya ..."
[Dari Abdullah bin ‘Amr r.a.]

Sebuah kisah benar yang sangat sangat menarik pada pandangan ku...
semoga kite semua mendapat pengajaran dan ilmu yang bermanfat...
sebagai hamba kita seharusnya percaya dengan kemampuan senjata orang mukmin iaitu DOA….

semoga kita sentiasa dipeliara Allah dari
kejahatan syaitan yang di rejam…….

SHARE FROM MD REDZUAN

i promise u..this is long..

abaikan tuuut tuuut she hulk nih..mencolok mata sungguh! Nauzubillah!! * kate la jeles!! *

i am sick n fed up with my work place..wats with all these guys huh? they dont respect me..i know i am harsh n my attitude doesnt resemble any kind of womanhood..tp please! RESPECT SKET BOLE! panggil aku lelaki la..ajak maen bola la..ajak isap rokok la..they dont consider me as a woman at all..fuck! aku benci! ko nak aku panggil korang bapok ke? korang sedap mengata aku..aku penah mengata korang ke? aku penah kutuk fizikal korang ke? aku tak suke kutuk orang ok! mulut aku ye laser! tapi aku takkan hina orang..sbb aku tak perfect! korang perfect sgt ke? NABI YANG MAKSUM PON TAK KUTUK ORANG! aku rela tak kawen dari kawen ngn lelaki perangai macam bagus nih. naseb baek aku tak berapa rapat ngn korang..kalo tak da lame aku skolah kan sekor sekor..dapat penumbuk atas batang idung satu das pon sedap gak! takpon starlight atas dahi! please ok please! i dont consider urself as a well behave gentleman if u dont even show any remorse respect towards women. u all r nothing but rubbish!

ok. fullstop!
.
.
.
.
.
.
tarik nafas dalam dalam
.
.
.
.
.

i have one weakness. my weakness is kuat sebok hal orang. in this case i will sebok sebok pasal the one yg close with me..maybe my act shows my stupidity..tapi kan..org pempuan kot..suke pok pek pok pek..actually its not at all bout being busy body..but this is more to show my concern..tp jadah ape ko nk concern pasal org? u dont own people.. so stop jadi control freak..nak tunggu kne tengking dlu baru nk diam kot..nk kne air mate begenang baru nk nyesal..tu la padan muke ko! suke sgt eh sebok..komplen sane..komplen sini..grow up! nobody likes to listen to ur nagging..dah gaye mak orang kot asek beleter jek..now i know im so kepochi n mak nenek..so there u are..muhasabah diri balik..kne jadi matang..jgn merengek rengek..jgn cari pasal..jgn cari gado..kalo org nk buat pape..biarkan..masing masing da besar kan..da tua..da pandai pk..Mahfuzah Mansor! diri awak sndri pon tak lepas lagi..so jgn nk jadi bossy! bear that in mind! awak buat hal sendri jek..awak fokus je buat keje..awak jgn nk kecik ati..ati awak tadek sape pon nak jage..awak kan iron lady..ati superduplex stainless steel..awak tak leh nangis dlm toilet..awak kne kuat! super kuat! kate rockstar! so...as from now on..i've made up my mind..i need to shut my mouth a bit..people wont be annoyed n so my heart wont fell all over the places. shattered like a broken glass.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
tragedi oktober da abes

.
.
.
.
.
skang masuk berita hepi hepi jek
* pasang lagu barney pulak *
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

my sister is pregnant..i am going to be an aunt!! soon enuff sume org bole panggil mak ngah jah..ke aunt ja? mane lagi glam? tak pon bole panggil i mummy..hohohoho...OKLAH! panggil i MUMMY..i will treat the baby as my own..as my blood..seriously bile dpt tau the news from my sister..i was jumping! super joy! tak sabar nk shopping baju baby..nk blaja pegang baby..nk mandikan..nk bagi makan nestum..nk tuka pampers..hohohohoho! *the fact that i dont wanna get married since i dont believe in everafter concept anymore. plus i am very happy living single like this. Btw please la jgn tanye aku bile nak cari boyfriend baru. cukopla tiap tiap ari kne pressure ngn parents sndri. i dont need any strangers to play that part too. Mahfuzah skang bukan Mahfuzah yg dulu. 2 minggu clash tros couple ngn orang lain. NO! this is a new me. i love being alone until God-knows-when. so dont ask me any shitty question like that ever again!! *

After all..shit happens..u can juz wipe the poop away..hahaha! MUMMY IN THE MAKING!

kawan saye da kawen. congrates to her! walopon agak menggila time betunang..akhirnye semua nye ok in the end! good for her..kalo tak aku bekhen da minah nih! huhuhuh..btw aku kenal izah ni time same same jadi linesman utk badminton national cup kt kuantan nih...tup tap smpai skang baek...hehehe..well we dont need thousand years to fall in love with one personality...only in a glimpse of an eye je kite da tau yg kite bole ngam! bole masuk ngn die..juz as me n izah n capien n ZILA! heheheh..cepat cepat la jadi mak buyung ye! tak sabar nk jadi aunt..=)

senyuman seorang ratu cantik